If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize