I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
