Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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