Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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