I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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