Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
