i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
