marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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