i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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