I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
