Life is so much better after having sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
