sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
