she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
