oh god the rape fog is back!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
