yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just cropdusted the office
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sorry about my life...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
