Do you still have your period?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize