The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
