Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
