I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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