biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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