Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
