eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize