i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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