he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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