I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
