I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
