so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
