i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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