Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
