Yo dont text me then not text me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize