are you still at the devil's house?
"it" just moved
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize