i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
