And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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