So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
