bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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