definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize