My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
