I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
