OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
