words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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