2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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