i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
