this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
