I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize