So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this will be a night to untag.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
