omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
