I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
