so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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