oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
