You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
its not stalking. its research.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
