she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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