Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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