so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Say something about gay babies.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
