my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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