So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
