Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
