thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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