I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
