____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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