Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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