He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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