is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
