Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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