Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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