I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize