We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize