i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
