You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
