Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
