that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
