God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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