i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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