wanna go halves on a baby?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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