All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
