I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
