we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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